Ministering: Pastor Lanre Oluseye
Topic: When the butterflies stop fluttering
Text: Genesis 2:24 (NKJV & KJV)
A safe space, by God’s design, it’s a place that help destinies thrive. The word “cleave” in Hebrew means to pursue. Usually, the man pursues the woman because, by God’s design, it is not good for him to be alone.
Nobody enters marriage expecting to be frustrated. Many marriages are “just there”. These days, spouses feel “buyer’s remorse.” This simply means, they feel they didn’t look hard enough before choosing whom to marry, leading to regrets.
One misconception is that you put too many efforts into finding the “right” person. Don’t look for your pastor to confirm if he/she is the one. A wife/husband cannot be prophesied. Instead of looking for the right person, the emphasis should be on you being the right person. “Are you the right person?” Marrying the right person does not guarantee the union will remain interesting. Good marriages are not automatic; they are a product of hard work.
One of the things you must do to keep the vibrancy in your marriage is to “pursue.” This pursuit is a continual action. There’s no finish line to pursuing. You have the responsibility to remind each other that regardless of what life throws at you, you will be there for each other. However, pain changes people. You cannot stop what life throws at you. God assured us that these pains will come, but when they come, you will overcome.
Not all friendships last for life; some are for seasons. The crown of a man is his wife, and the head of a man is Christ. For there to be peace and sustained vibrancy in the marriage, there must be pursuit. In the lifespan of a marriage, there are seasons. It takes both of you to support each other through these seasons. Your marriage becomes bland when you don’t do the work. The work begins when the butterflies stop fluttering.
To keep the vibrancy in your marriage, you must:
1. Improve your likability. Let go of negative energy. Normalize flirting and playing with your partner.
2. Improve your desirability. Make yourself desirable to your spouse.
Marriage is a collective effort.
